The Telemachus Story Archive

Stupid Cupid
Chapter 5 - The First Mission
By baboonfan

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Eros snapped his fingers again and the crystals stopped moving. The one in front of Jerry began glowing like the sun.

"This is your first mission. Your job is to see these two get together. If you succeed, you're a step closer to getting your wings. If not, you know what will happen." Eros said in his deep growling voice. Jerry shivered, remembering the intense pain from only moments ago. He stared questioningly into the golden crystal.

"What do I do?" Jerry asked.

"To use magic, just think of what you want to happen, and then snap your fingers." Eros explained.

Jerry did as he was told, and just as he heard the snap, he felt a tremendous pulling sensation, sucking him into the crystal.

* * * * *

“Ugh.. what hit me?” Grant Mason groaned. He didn’t remember a lot. What he did remember was that last night, he and his buds, Hal and George, got drunk at a bar after work. As usual they made asses out of themselves, seeing who could chug the most, who could belch the loudest, along with a variety of pointless contests. Eventually the stakes got as high as the point of being illegal. Taking down stop signs, drag racing, graffiti. Finally they came to an all American past time, cow-tipping. This presented one problem though, there wasn’t a farm around the city where they lived. Fortunately, Grant had heard of a tiny farm a few miles away. They decided to take a little drunken road trip there.

Still smashed, they drove out to the farm. It was the only building for miles around. Apparently, the owner of the farm had bought several acres of the surrounding land. The quietly parked near the pasture, and carefully walked through the field. They sized up their prey, a dozing bovine, whose milky white hide glowed with moonlight in contrast with her ebony spot. Hal, the shortest of the three, put his shoulder to the cow’s side, ready to push. Although he was short, Hal was actually considered the strongest because of his stocky muscular frame. He has boxed in highschool and still liked to stay fit. The one thing that prevented him from being quite handsome was his perpetual scowl, earned from a lifetime of short jokes. George, the tall one, leaned next to Hal. George had a bit of a gut, but it was balanced nicely by his big arms and height. His brown goatee and easy grin made him a big hit with the ladies. Grant was the middle one. He was of middle height. Also of middle build; not too bulky, not too thin. Grant was regarded as the smartest of the three because he had landed himself a scholarship into a big university in their college days. He had lost it however from partying too much with his bros instead of studying. Now he earned the same wage as his idiot friends, just enough to get himself hammered every weekend.

The guys were just about to give the cow the old heave ho when they heard someone cock a gun behind them. “Ah wouldn’t do that if I were yew.” A deep southern voice growled. Then Grant heard a little whistling noise. George slumped to the ground. Grant whirled around to see an old man, in his fifties, with a full beard full of thick grey hair. All he was wearing was a pair of boots and some faded overalls with only one shoulder buttoned. Grant could tell he was strong from the thick cords of muscles on his arms, and the overalls were clinging to his body, obviously built from years of hard work and not a gym. Grant quickly glanced at his friend. George had a large dart sticking out of his back. He wasn’t moving, but he was still breathing.

The wind picked up and it outlined the moonlighted silhouettes of the men. The breeze hit them and it made pleasant swirling patterns in the thick grey chest hair of the farmer. They stood staring at each other, sizing each other up. Hal tried to pull a fast one. He rushed the farmer, but the old man quickly cocked his gun and shot a sleeping dart into Hal’s chest. Hal dropped to the ground. And then there was one. The old farmer growled deep in his throat as he cocked his gun one last time. He aimed it at the shaking Grant, and fired.

* * * *

Grant was still struggling into consciousness. His mind was still murky after the tranquilizer, and he had a whopping headache. He waited for his bleary eyes to adjust as he took in his surroundings. “Okay, lessee.” Grant slurred. “ Four white walls, two windows with sunlight streaming, a big basket.” Ugh. Thinking was hard. And did the sun have to be so damned bright? He looked down and saw that he was laying on a big blanket. Underneath it was lots of fresh straw, and it felt very comfy to his bare skin. Bare skin? He looked down at himself and saw that he was stark naked, laying on his stomach! Unlike the night before, he now had a large potbelly. He wildly looked around and saw his bros laying next to his on the large blanket, still zonked. They had massive guts now too!

He crawled over to them and shook them. “Hal, George, wake up!” “Huh? Wassat?” Hal asked groggily. “We gotta get out of here!” Grant said. George pushed him away, still half asleep. “ ‘S’not nine o’clock yet.” He pulled his end of the big plaid blanket over himself and snuggled into the hay mattress. Grant was just about to shake him again when the door swung open. An imposing giant of a man blocked the sunlight from streaming in. He shut the door behind him and said, “Mornin’ gals.” in a sexy southern drawl.

With the door closed the guys could see him in detail. He was a wall of muscle, covered in thick red hair. His shoulders were as broad as a barn, he had slab like pecs, abs seemed to be carved out of rock, which tapered down into a trim waist. Under his waistline lay a truly beastly cock. It was uncut, but even placid it had to be eight inches long and thick as Hal’s wrist. It lay upon two lemon sized testicles covered in a coat of red hair. After the boys pulled their gazes away from the impressive crotch, they saw that the man was evenly proportioned all over. He had massive quads and heavily muscled thighs that poured into his huge calves and his big shapely feet.

George had snapped out of his stupor and was drooling with Grant and Hal. Each of them felt deep rumblings in their stomachs at the sight of this guy, but they quickly dismissed this as hunger for food. They felt their dicks harden instantly at the sexy earthy smell wafting off of him.

“Who are you?” Grant breathed. “Ma name’s Beau, perdy lady. I’m the rooster here.” Beau lifted Grant’s hand in his massive one and gave it a hot whiskery kiss. Grant instantly swooned in pleasure. He layed in a heap on the blanket, very confused. He had never thought of a guy sexually before, but this guy was the ultimate. And loud gurgling noise emanated from his gut. Beau chuckled and said,” Guess it’s time to get to work.” “Work?” Hal asked, puzzled.

Beau’s only reply was to slowly run a hand down his furry treasure trail to his big cock. “Buh-bock!” Hal screeched, his hands clutching his stomach. “Hal! What’s wrong?!” George asked worriedly. “I, I, oh shit! I think I have diarrhea!” he shouted. He clutched his massive gut and pulled his legs to his head, exposing his puckered hole. Hal let out a massive gasp and felt something come out. To the guys’ amazement, instead of a lump of crap stood a large pearly white egg.

“What the fuck!?” Grant shouted. “You just shat out an egg!” Beau let out a rumbling chuckle.

“’Course she did, bebe. What else are hens supposed to do?”

“Hens!?” the three guys shouted as one. “We ain’t hens! Hens are girl chickens!” George said.

“You are now. Farmer Brown ain’t just a farmer. He’s a brilliant genetic physicist. He injected you with a special serum to make you like an animal. Now you have the ability to lay eggs. Plus your body hair is real light and soft, like feathers.” Beau explained, and rain a finger down Hals leg, teasing the downy hair.

Instantly, Hal let out a moan and let out another egg. “But we ain’t chicks!” Screamed Grant, “We got dicks!”

 “Course ya do bebe. Farmer Brown would never do anything mean like remove yer junk. He just added something extra to ya.” Beau reached around gave Grant a friendly squeeze on the ass. Like Hal, George clutched at his stomach and plopped down on the hay. However, when he grunted and squeezed his insides, not one egg came out, but a dozen smaller ones! “Shiiit.” George moaned. “That felt good. Grant, you gotta try this.” Then he let out another dozen eggs as Hal moaned next to him, doing the same.

“That’s some damn fine laying gals.” Beau said in a husky voice. Grant could see his monster stirring between his legs. Beau saw him looking and said, “Yeah, fertility does it for me, in a big way.” He drawled, adding a slow hip thrust. Grant drooled in lust, and then he felt the deep lurch in his gut. He slowly sat down and spread his legs. He looked to his left and saw his best buds moaning in lust as Beau did his erotic dance. He slowly ran a hand threw his red chest hair, while flexing his other arm, causing it to bulge like an inflating balloon, but hard as rock.

Grant whimpered in distress. He was so horny! He could feel the egg at his sphincter, like a huge lump of shit. But no matter how hard he pushed, he couldn’t get it out. He looked at Hal and George enviously, jealous at the near orgasmic pleasure they received with each new egg. Beau, being a true stud, could see his distress. He raised a hand to his face and, never taking his eyes off Grant, spit a huge wad of spit into his hand. Then he gently started to pump his giant cock.

Grant started crying. He had never felt so turned on, but there was nothing he could do. He desperately wanted to touch his dick, but if he removed his hands from his legs, the eggs wouldn’t come out, and his ass would explode from the pressure! His bros were surrounded in a fog of lust, oblivious to the world. The pile of eggs at their rears was enough to feed an army. Grant’s sweating body was aching for release, from his balls and his ass. He looked at Beau through his tear filled eyes.

“Please Beau, help me. Help me, or kill me.” Grant pleaded. Beau sped up his masturbation pace, brutally fucking his hand, pretending it was a hot hen hole.

“Ah bebe, don’t look at me like that, if you look at me like that, I. won’t. be. able. to. hold. it!” Then he reached his peak. “BUK-BUK-BUKAWK!” Beau aimed his meat at Grant and let loose. A blast of cum hit Grant with the force of a fire hose, and he felt his anal muscles loosen. Grant reached his own peak as soon as he felt the hot spunk splash on his big belly. He felt something that felt like a soccer ball easily slip out of his ass, teasing his sphincter muscles on the way out. With each egg brought a new wave of orgasm. After the sixth shot he collapsed, exhausted and spent.

George and Hal had finished after Beau’s sexy display and were panting heavily, resting. “DAMN THAT FELT GOOD!” George shouted. “Holy shit bro! Look at Grant’s eggs! They’re fuckin’ huge!” Grant glanced over his gut to look at his pile of eggs. They were the size of watermelons and practically glowing in the morning light. Beau gave Grant a proud grin.

 “Good job, bebe.” And he slid a hand over Grant’s belly.

“That’s not fair!” Hal whined. “George has got tons of little ones, and Grant has big ones, but I got normal ones.” His eyes misted over, clearly worried Beau would overlook him now. Beau just smiled.

“Don’t think so bebe.” He picked up one of Hal’s eggs. He gently shook it near his ear. “This one’s a double yoke.” He tested another. “This one’s triple.” He gently grabbed Hal’s chin and stroked it with his thumb. “But don’t ever think that I’ll love any of you any less because of the type of eggs you lay. Your mah hens, and I’m your rooster. That means it’s mah job to care for you.” Hal’s eyes grew even wetter and a tear of happiness rolled down his cheek.

“I love you Beau.” He whispered, a feeling all three hens felt, but were too choked up to say.

“Ah love yew too. And yew. And yew.” Punctuating each “yew” with a whiskery kiss on the belly. This of course sent them all into egg laying mode, and, ever the competetive ones, tried to out do each other and get Beau hard and hot.

* * * * *

Back at the farm house, farmer Brown awoke to the sound of Beau’s crowing. He smiled knowingly to himself. His new chickens were gonna fit in just fine. He jumped out of bed, naked as a jay bird, enjoying the feeling of the morning sunlight on his lean, gray furred body. He picked up his phone off the bedside and pressed redial. After only two rings someone picked up.


“Hey young feller. Just wanted to thank yew again for warning me about those cattle rustlers in the area.”

“No prob, did they give you any trouble?” Jerry asked.

“Nah. Ah put a plastic cow out in the field and caught ‘em red handed.”

“Oh good. Guess they won’t cause you any trouble anymore huh?”

The old man chuckled. “Nah son, quite the opposite in fact. Goodbye.” He turned off the phone, still chuckling at his little joke. But no time for dawdling. There’s always work to be done on the farm.

to be continued...

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