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The Ascended!
Dear all!
If you are reading one of my diatribes... you know already what you are about to get!
RANT UPINCOMING T-MINUS
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RANT INTITIATED!
ERROR IN REALITY DETECTED!
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Thesis. Where have how all the cowboys gone?
And to clarify here.... when I say a "Cowboy" here... what I really really REALLY actually mean are "cowboys" BUT FOR ONLY the truly geeky nerd gay fanboys and the equivalent of that would be. Which is nothing at all like those handsome, strong swoon worthy specimens of unbridled masculunity.
But instead here is the cowboy for you!
Quiver... gentlemen... quiver!
The REAL COWBOY has arrived!
He has written and directed your favorites for decades, and has left all you half women-ish blokes giggling at his jokes on the floor with receptive flaming lips, flaring to the wind, desperatly in love with your new wit master! (Wherever exacly those flaming lips truly were!)
Did you want a modern fantasy comedy brutal action hero story set in highschool?
BAM.
WHEDON WAS THERE!
Did you want a steampunk television show set within the coolest new gorram universe?
BAM!
ALL STATE WAS THER......I MEAN WHEDON WAS THERE!
And after all your favorite heroes had been licencesd out to the four corners of the globe... like aboriginees forced into a new life without their consent.
Whom was the one to knock The Avengers out of the park... and rebuild for sure a shared connected cinmatic universe forcing all the hovering hollywood debtors and producers no longer distinguish the reality in they had been so trained.
BOSS WHEDON was there!
.....
So where is Boss Whedon now then?
I might be wrong... but my spidersense has been pinging at zeroish for awhile now.
Where did he go!?...
I've been a bit out of the loop for awhile... but I really feel that this artist once said.... that he wanted a have break after directing the two biggest movies ever nearly directed back to back.
However Age of Ultron was awhile ago now... and now while we certainly don't want to go around breaking a few eggs early trying to rush an omelette joke to conclusion in the middle of an important monologue reveal.....
.. BUT AFTER THAT.... WHERE THE FUCK HAS JOSS WHEDON GONE AS A CREATOR!!!!
~~~~~~~
*You've got no strings at me!* -echoes out of context through the dry still air
~~~~~~
Sorry Josh!
Your overwhelming need to shoehorn in that pinnochio joke constantly (In Age Ultron, or even just while crossing the street against the pedestrain light), "You've got no strings on me!" will not call off the search!
Your strings will be found!
(And interestingly enough... this particular quote dialgue.. artistically originated near The Three Little Pigs dancing with blood on the screen in an episode of Buffy!)
A known Whedon motif!
...
So where is Joss Whedon now? Like Really?
Well there were a few others in key positions to take a large credit for Marvel and its recent successes.
Most notably Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers.
(James Gunn as a "biker' "rebel" "wildcard" has always struggled with legitemacy to businessman... and may have chosen to pursue his own special choice projects that only he would want or see the genius in.)
Lets be clear first. All these sets of individuals are talented, forceful artists with visions of what they want on the screen... and have hugely contributed to Marvels success.
But when all the final chits finally fell to the ground as the Infinity Saga ended, an unexpected new narrative started to circulate as an overall takeaway message!
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The First Avengers connected with an audience like none have or since!
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AND THE MARKET WANTS TO KNOW HOW!
And so...the quirky loopy so liberal that he's a bleeding out his heart like hemopheliac in an Adam's family movie school play..... may have finally had the chance to do what he's always wanted!
ASCEND TO THE POWERS THAT BE!
AND/OR DESTROY THE CIRCLE OF THE BLACK THORN FROM WITHIN!
(either one)
.. so what does that all mean!?
WARNING----CONSPIRACES ENGANGED!
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I believe that when artists have become successful enough with their own fame and money... they are offered membership into elite orders of investors, artists, and the intelligent.
One of the benefits of belonging to such a club is that they can hide from the public indefinitely if they want.
Another is to continue to work in Hollywood as a gold star general... all without worrying that their name baggage is being trotted out on the credits. It's just deleted.
You can work. You can create. And now... ascended... you can do it in obscurity!
So what recent work of art were Joss Whedon's hands heavily involved .... without any citation known?
I believe it is..... WandaVision!
The facts are as follows.
1.) The character Wanda is his baby. He will cut a bitch scarlet for this witch!
2.) Whedon has not only a personal interest in, but a generations long background working in the tevelision industry. WandaVision is a send up to it all he was ever raised on.
3.) Similarly only a sheer crazed-art-eyed madman would have ever finished the first episode of WandaVision without a single hint or foreshadowing that the show is about to evolve.
4) This belies that the vision glowing in Whedon's head...looking EXACTLY like the twinkling Triforce of the Sacred Golden Land. Unblemished and shining in perfection. He will truly Ayn Rand gut out good utility ideas in the pursuit of this only true beauty!
NO FORESHADOWING! ONLY THE TRUE BEAUTY OF AN INTENTIONAL SHOCK FAKEOUT!
5) And I can only imagine the viewer fall of rate fall from... ep 1 -> 2 is so horrashocking... that it can only be absolved with the steady hands at the disney wheel trusting from their secure financiation position to take risks for liberal cholo van Gogh.... when he has a full epileptic seizure fit for..... ~hand wavy~ .... the art of it all!
6) The cast village of characters in WandaVision... are T.V. actors!
Just don't think anyone will or will ever care about TV actors anywhere near as much as ... THE ONE who literally does... "the dance of shame." Namely... Joss Whedon... proud ballerina of The Deathwok Clan.
So these T.V. actors were given an extreme metajokerole ....(I SEE YOU LAUGHING JOSS!)
...where they sort of play their dorky tv bad dialogue selves... but in a context that works perfectly for an eventual high budget narrative... this seems to be a metaswhirl cherry on top joke... that only Whedon can swing effortlessly from on whatever Tarzan vine he is currently hurdling toward cultural infinity.
And finally...... Agatha All Along!
WHAT WHAT WHAT!?
A late stage villain swap!?
And one we've known of all along!
And all set as a musical?
Whedon's gears are fully cranking now!!
(And while yes the full amount of dialgue needed to expain the villain swap.... slows down the pace to its t.v level origins.... but the actual sheer total daring of it all... just as usual lets Whedon run though all artistic barriers like The Juggernaut (bitch!). Unstoppable. )
And all the nerds.... guffaw.
And all the nuclear family units.... have nuclear family hysterics.
And an art design designed by Whedon continues to shine for all... just without his name.. all as he always wanted!
It's so cheesey. Its cheese infinity!
And only one guy knows how to cheese infinity!
*Joss Whedon in a visual represenation of how he adds cheesey jokes to serious situations
So where is Whedon now?
Well first... I do not think WandaVision was the first for him to share his expertise as an invisible producer. ( And again I could be wrong on all of this.)
but in fact all my spider senses cause nearly the exact same epileptic fit as well when viewing.... "Get Out".
An obviouus film he'd want to delete all known assistance to assign credit where its clearly due!
But if you ask this aspergers case why his own body flings him to the floor in a fit of uncontrolled convulsions.... whenever The Armistage advertisement is playing on that old tv in "Get Out."
ITS BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN THIS HOKEY COMEDY TELEMARKETING SKIT BEFORE.
AND I HAVE SEEN IT MOST COMMONLY IN THE LAND OF WHEDON!
Whether its Doyles sad recording advertisement after his death...
Or the school news announcers in the new spiderman....
Or the bag of TITOS being eaten in a cemetery....
I could be wrong. But I really think comedy can have a defined fingerprint for its teller!
It's so cheesey. Its cheeseprint!
....and if you look closely to at Marvel and elsewhere... you might be able to discern the footprints of a BigCheeseFoot operating in secretly in their very midsts!
Agatha After All.... is ringing a set of blood witch church bells so loudly that she might as well be his adopted child! Its like his favorite character ever!
"I'm EVIL! And I'm HILARIOUS!"
But with the end of the Infinity Saga... much is still in question with the future of Marvel's direction at Disney.
Whatever disney analyst said "tv shows are so cheap and are thus the future"..... was not being forced to stare at the box office returns of Marvel movies and swear on their first born that this would still repeat. And low and behold it didn't.
Whatever Disney has left next with Marvel... with Joss having evolved into a brain like jellyfish interacting at all levels of its organization....my own advice is this....
When I want to see a movie.... I am heavily enouraged by the announced trilogy in advance... but even still yet... only encouraged actually by those who can pull it off and do so over and over again....Disney/Marvel.
However I currentIy feel the Multiverse Saga lacks this exact explicit implicit communication to its audience base. That there will be more known trilogy serial stories soon... regularly.... and with the exact loved characters you know.
The Hulk, Spiderman, Black Panther... etc.
These would be new trilogy tentpoles that could be utilized to continue these sagas just as before in a focused trilogy of trilogies + extra. And then your not tentpole diversity offerings... do not effect the bottom line.
And don't just think its the diversity casting either. Captain Marvel could not establish a plot or a character background for 75% of the movie. Thats way below Marvel internal quality standards!
I amost believe Kevin Feige retired (after many years of work)...and sold it all.
Any now only acts like an advisor chortling silently to himself as those trained to create children media... are now struggling trying to continue his MCU.
And if you want to ask me though... the endless additions of central children characters to family style spinoffs... like Hawkeye... and ms.ms.ms. Marvel. .... are in no way small part of that.
And in fact if your name isn't directly S. Spielberg.... the children you will be adding to your film will be so groan worthy... only infantiles will watch.
My advice... when adding children to action movies.... its just best plain to leave them in the car.
And finally one of my own warnisms....
This society is effecting by clear Toxoplasmosis for its young.
WHICH IS FINE AND AVERAGE!
But when the straights continue to bludgeon down their art like water slowly trickling over the edge of a canyon....wearing it down surely but slowly... until only vague gray banality stands left over in front of us.
The childless adults should be equally ready to request media that wasn't rotten downed to its core by design in a try to fake stupidity only suited for the sake of child development for when the parents have left the room.
And furthermore... as for adults only consuming child media by accident as they are parents, hour after hour, year after year.... I'm already backing away slowly from all of you while reaching for my sanity rape whistle. And its real!
You are not the witty urbane socialites you used to be.... after watching years of exactly this.
AND IT WAS THE BLUES CLUES THAT DID IT!
And you'll eventually get dimensia from it all!
Deal with it.
~~~
Finally, unfortunately for us all.... it does in fact currently look like Disney intends to NOT continue on the endless Marvel saga too much farther out. (Stretchy girl Ms. Marvel is like a canary in the coal mine for profits.)
THE MCU WILL BE RESTARTED SOON ON THE CURRENT PLANNED TRAJECTORY!
And so it now seems that the nonfanboy businessmen have inexorobly decided an INCORRECT obvious decision yet AGAIN.... while trying few other creative solutions in the meantime!
Their LITERAL mindsets.... "A new reset Ironman will indeed do bank! And I'll retire never caring about all the art hijinks I just created long term! Wheeeee!"
But there are indeed clever ways to continue on a series even with contract limitations. Just don't ask that business financial guy anything! Not whats the best financially, artistically, or what he even had for breakfast yesterday!
He is the exact joke that he is.
"The Pressure Cooker determines all our destines!"
Just let a scientist start a debate with him to prove he's a con beyond all his double sentences to ever even remotely defend.
Few of you have witnessed such an event. It's entertaining to sic an aspergers case on a con. :)
But the truth is that engineering is not taught at the Haus School of Business.
How to dress however is though!
Who to talk to even more so though!
Say it with me lowd and clear... everyone.
The business elite are intellectual charlatans!
CHARLATANS!
CHARLUEAIUIITONS!!!
CHARLOUSLOUSIANS!
Well dressed charlatans that while I get weak in the knees for their fine suits and faked confidence.... are still CHARLATANS nonetheless!
Going....... "Everyone only likes Iron man, thor and captain america.... ....so.... where's the reset button!!? Did we leave it over in the star trek lot?"...is not a winning strategy!
It is just NOT YET NEARLY time to recent the MCU.
|||||||||||||||||>>>>>>A RECENT BUTTON!<<<<<<|||||||||||
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced" -Obi
Now the reasons of businnessmen are willing to exterminate Alderaan are.....
Our actors are aging and we arent ready to do a full Michael Jackson hologram stunt on them all.
NO ONE HAS EVER LIKED THESE SECOND SHOE STRING HEROES LITERALLY EVER! (spiderman aside)
We will eventually need to restart the MCU... and this time our plan will be fullproof!
Unfortnately your audience is NOT READY FOR A RESET!
And you have only arrived it by uncreativity in advance... and trying to take the easy way out!
Here's a list of REAL Iron Man contendor movies.. (Not whatever emerged from your diversitython of compromised artistic methods. The needed represenations will get there. But cleverly. Not by force.)
Tony's daughter activates his suit... and together they fight crime... as he is the new Jarvis.
or!
Ultron resurrects Tony... to gain access to bypass codes. Trick. The resurrection is in vr only.... and Tony does not realize yet he will be only able to interact in the rl with his suits.
The New Iron Man Try Out Movie-
-Stark industries holds tryouts for whos the next best iron man
-Contendors fight itout and only later realize tony is "alive"
-Tony is an robot perfect version of his old self.... only Iron.
A team of Iron Men are created.....
Anyways those are just a few off the top better ideas than half of the new Marvel tv series being offered. :/ Not kidding. And look... all devoid of all those small retarded half creatures we call children!
*pats retard half thing on its head*
*You'll get there one day invalid adult*
Anyways this has meandered more than usual... so to recap...
First a proof on why Joss Whedon is one of the few ever to recieve his own WWJWD saying... and what shade of reality he is now ascended to as he continues to influence all the hero art around us! Officially... secretly.
And finally questions and concerns on the Multiverse Saga.... when the roadmap to success was already written out in front of them in Kevin Feige's literal nerd spiderblood....why in your right mind did you listen to you overpaid analysits with a fetish for trying to prove your 6 hour netflix version + CHILDREN will be vision that will work over all contrary data!?
Even without children... no one is waiting for season 2 of this one!
Did your big hitter creators/leaders at Marvel Studios finally retire? It has been 20 years actually.
Because they would have disagreed. Honestly with all of it.
Because if don't think so.... YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY need to listen to their advice!
Its not just about releasing beautiful powerful heroes of whaever type... and saying.... WE SOLVED THE MINORITY!
Its about creating a film, so stirring, so intense, so heartbreaking, so memorable.... that the audience leaves the theater with a new set of war buddies, selected entirely by you.
And after all these years... right after their infinity climax extravaganza... it looks like a lot of everyone involved talented decided to move on.
So to my eyes... I worry Marvel has had a turnover in intelligence.... still when the gays needed their absolute best. :/
Oh well. Only time will tell. Time that the tired, poor, and huddled... might not have.
If you would like to read additional gay fiction or nonfiction... feel free to check out www.finslandofgayart.com
Thank you!