Story By Telemachus and Bullneck

Illustrations By Telemachus

This story was inspired by Bullneck's Gooniverse drawings and concept

Planet BN-69 had no significant resources, an atmosphere poisonous to humans, and it was about as remote a planet as you could find anywhere in this corner of the galaxy. All of which made it a good place to set up a goon-trooper training garrison far from the prying eyes of your neighbors.

Which is what Senator Pickens did. Like most sector senators he was always looking for ways to build up his armed forces without alerting any of his rivals. And BN-69 looked like a very good place to do it. So while the other senators were distracted by a convenient border skirmish on the other side of the sector, a prefabricated air-tight base, a ruthlessly ambitious commander and a full regiment of over-sized goon troopers fresh from the clone tanks and ready for training were quietly dispatched to BN-69 and, lo and behold - one instant and very secret, goon-trooper training facility!

The fact that there was a race of primitive but intelligent beings already living on the planet didn't matter much. In fact, reasoned Pickens, they would make for some very good hunt training.