I’d been in bed about 10 minutes and was on the verge of sleep when the whole bedroom suddenly lit up so brightly that I was aware of it through my closed eyelids. I sat up in panic. What the fuck? I got out of bed and looked out of the window. On the house directly opposite to mine a new security light had been installed. I sighed, closed the curtains, and got back into bed. The curtains dimmed it substantially, but didn’t stop it completely; light was leaking round the sides of them, and it was still almost bright enough to read by.
A minute later the light went off. I turned over, pulled the duvet up and tried to get back to sleep.
After a couple of minutes the damn thing lit up again. I heard footsteps walking along the pavement outside. It stayed on for another minute and then went out again.
I got no sleep at all that night. That fucking light came on twenty-three times – I counted them – before dawn came and there was enough daylight to disable the thing. I’d been lying there fuming to myself, wondering how anybody could put up a light like that with no thought whatsoever for anybody else. Did it not occur to him that there were bedrooms on the other side of the road, with people trying to sleep?
After breakfast I knocked on the door of the house.
“Yeah?” A guy in his thirties, unshaven and wearing a dirty white dressing gown stood there.
“Hi,” I said. “I’m sorry to bother you but I live in that house.” I pointed across the road. “I don’t want to cause you any problems, but your new security light shines right into my bedroom and it kept me awake all night last night. I wonder if you’d mind tilting it down a bit.” I smiled in a friendly way.
He stepped forward and looked up at the light – it was a couple of feet from an upstairs window. Then he looked back at me. “Tough,” he said. He stepped back in and closed the door.
I stood there breathing deeply and counting to ten. Then I knocked again. After a moment the door opened. “Look, that light really is causing me a problem. I can’t get to sleep – it goes on and off all night.”
He was a big guy, and I knew that I wouldn’t stand much chance if he got violent, so I stayed back out of reach.
“Listen, punk,” he snarled. “Fuck off. That light is staying there. Get fucking used to it.”
The door closed again.
I walked back to my house. Perhaps, I thought, in spite of his attitude, he would think about it and tilt the thing down a bit after all. It would make no difference to its effectiveness as a security light, and it would solve much of the problem. I decided to leave it for now.
That night was a repeat of the previous one – except it was even brighter. The fucker had tilted it up even more. It did its thing from the time I went to bed until the morning. By eight o’clock I hadn’t had a wink of sleep, and I was not happy.
Over breakfast I thought about it. That bastard needed teaching a fucking lesson. I knew I couldn’t do it by myself, but I had friends that could. I finished my coffee, got my phone and called Jed.
Jed is not someone you want to mess with. If you get on the wrong side of him he can be a lot worse than he looks, and he looks like a psychopath. He must be over 20 stone – half of it fat and the other half pure muscle. He rides a Harley, wears leathers that haven’t been cleaned for twenty years, his body has piercings in extremely unexpected places, and he has a beard you could hide a goat in. And Jed has mates of his own who are almost as bad as he is. I told him the problem, and what I would like to do about it. I could hear his grin as I explained my idea. In spite of his looks, he’s a lovely guy if you know him – I met him in another friend’s playroom years ago; he was tightening the screw on a ball crusher at the time, with an adjustable spanner. No problem, he said, leave it with him. He asked me for the address of the problem house, and where the light was. By the time I’d finished the call I was feeling better.
A few days later (I’d taken to sleeping in the daytime) I got a call from him. God knows how he’d managed it – and I didn’t ask – but he had a copy of the guy’s front door key, and also a ‘fun little box’ that would do exactly what I’d wanted.
I didn’t go to bed that night. Instead I waited for Jed to arrive. He turned up with a couple of mates - Pog was an almost identical replica of him, and Willie looked like a slightly more muscular version of Arnie. They parked their bikes and I handed bottles of beer round. A strong smell of leather, engine oil and sweat quickly developed in my living room.
The security light had started. “Fuck, that’s bright,” said Willie.
I’d been keeping an eye on the guy’s house through the window, and around 11 o’clock I saw the downstairs light go out, then a few seconds later one come on upstairs in the bedroom whose window the security light was by. We had more beers and left it for another half hour.
“Right,” said Jed, “let’s get this show on the road.” We walked across the street and Jed opened the front door with his key copy. The house was silent. As quietly as possible we went up the stairs. Loud snoring was coming from the bedroom. I opened the door.
The guy was fast asleep. Silently, Jed put a bag down on the carpet and opened it. From it he took rope, duct tape and a black box with cables coming out of it. He passed the ropes around, got the duct tape ready, and we jumped the guy.
While Jed wrapped the duct tape three times around his head to gag him, the others grabbed his arms and legs and tied them down to the corners of the bed. The guy’s eyes were wide open in panic, and he was struggling like crazy. It didn’t do him any good, though, and very soon he was quite helpless.
I turned the black box over in my hands. “So, how does this work?”
Jed grinned. “I’ll show you.” He took the box from me and separated the cables. One of them ended in two narrow strips of Velcro, with aluminium foil on one side. He pulled the guy’s underpants down and grabbed the soft cock, then strapped one of the Velcros tightly around the ridge, just below the head. The other one went around the guy’s balls. Jed put the box down on the bed, and straightened the second cable. This was a longer one, quite thin, and had a much smaller round box on the end of it. He took it to the window, leaned out and stuck the little box onto the front glass of the security light. “All done,” he said. He took the box off the bed and clicked a switch on it. “It’s turned on now.” He pointed to a knob in the middle of it. “This is the strength. Just set it to what you want. Whenever that light comes on, he’ll feel it.”
At the moment the security light was off, but I knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long. Sure enough, as if on cue it lit up – and the guy on the bed screamed into the duct tape, his body rigid. I thought about turning the control down a bit, but it seemed to be about right to me. I put the box down on the floor. “Good. Right, well that seems to work a treat.” I turned to the bastard on the bed. “Now, it’s -” I looked at my watch, “just past midnight. Dawn is around 7, so that’s about seven hours for you to think about that light. If you’re lucky nobody will walk past, no cats will set it off, no passing bats. But if the last few nights are anything to go by that’s not going to happen. Oh, and of course it’ll go on when we leave. I want you to think about what a fucking pain in the arse that light is for other people. I’m going to lie in bed over there, and every time that light goes on tonight, I’ll know you’re thinking about it.”
Jed picked up the bag and we turned towards the door. I looked back. “We’ll be back tomorrow sometime. Sleep well.”
The guys stayed over at mine for the rest of the night. We watched a DVD, drank more beer, chatted about guys we’d had in our playrooms lately, then had a kip. All the time the light over the road kept coming on for a minute, then going off. I wasn’t keeping count, but it was a nice feeling knowing that every single time it did, that little box was sending agonising volts through the bastard’s cock.
It was dawn outside and the light had stopped coming on. We went back over there and released the guy. Even though he’d had no shocks for a while now, he was covered in sweat and moaning constantly, and he put up no fight as we unfastened the ropes and packed everything away in the bag. Jed pulled the guy out of bed with one hand and held him with his face inches from his own, his feet hardly touching the floor. He growled. “I’d suggest you get rid of that light, mate. Any more problems and we will be back. With baseball bats and other interesting equipment. Do I make myself clear?”
The guy nodded violently.
“Good.” Jed let him go.
I thanked the guys as they got onto their bikes. “No problem at all, mate,” grinned Jed. “Any more trouble, giz a bell. We’ll be over like a fucking shot.”
I watched them ride off.
Bliss. A comfy bed, a warm duvet, and darkness. I sighed in contentment.
By ten o’clock that morning the security light had been removed.