Captain Canuck stood weary, and exhausted just outside his base, having just parked his bike in it’s garage. Although not a member of the Avengers, Captain Canuck’s close association had it’s benefits. He’d helped out the Avengers several times, and they built this base for him as a sign of their gratitude.
He placed his palm against the palm plate, and the door slid open. Wearily, humiliated, the hero walked down the hall, rubbing his chin where that dude Gunner and ‘gunned’ him down with his fist. The Canadian hero had been shaken awake by the police, who questioned him thoroughly, and in particular asked about the destruction of the priceless statue. They told him that the statue was worth 20 million dollars, and they sternly, regretfully informed him that the owner of the statue was sure to be in contact regarding the destruction, and there was a strong case for the liability of its destruction to be the responsibility of Captain Canuck. It was clear, from some shreds of the hero’s costume lying in the rubble of the statue, that he was involved in it’s destruction.
Craig Evans had seldom felt so humiliated in his life. He tried to explain how a super villian had tossed him into the statue, and the police took down statements, finally saying, “Well, that’s not our problem, Captain. You’ll need to tell that to a judge. The evidence is pretty clear though.”
They had finally let him go. Now, he just wanted to take a shower and get some sleep.
Meanwhile, back in Kingpin’s lair, Gunner reported to his boss, Kingpin.
The massive criminal was in his office, decked out with the finest furniture money could buy. Gunner, although a super powered villain, product of a mutation, was a simple man. He just liked to break things, and wasn’t all that comfortable in this finery. But he respected Kingpin, having recently joined his team, because Kingpin always saw that Gunner had plenty of things to break.
Kingpin knew that Gunner was a treasure of a henchman. The man,a fighter of extraordinary skills with a physique of pure masculine alpha muscle, ‘just liked to break things’. But where people made their mistake was assuming that Gunner was a stupid meathead. But they were wrong, so so wrong, because Gunner was a sheer genius. His skills at lockpicking, safe cracking, electronics, and hacking were off the charts. His ability and joy in physically decimating his opponents was just a bonus as far as Kingpin was concerned.
Gunner described the scene at the museum, and predictably, Kingpin blew his top, bellowing, “I WAS SO CLOSE… SO FUCKING CLOSE TO PULLING OFF A 40 MILLION DOLLAR INSURANCE SCAM! FUCK THAT FUCKING CAPTAIN CANUCK!” The crime lord super villian was infuriated. He needed that money. Of course, he was the owner of that statue, or actually, Mr. Kingsley P. Innes was the owner, a collector of impeccable reputation. He had planned for the statue to ‘be stolen’ by a gang of nefarious criminals, and then collect the 20 million insurance money for it’s theft while simultaneously selling the statue for another cool 20 mill on the black market. And now, instead of 40 million, he had 0.
Kingpin turned to Gunner, his rage causing his face to go red, “GUNNER!! I WANT YOU TO BRING THAT MOTHER FUCKER HERE! I WANT HIM BEATEN, BROKEN, BITCHED, FUCKED AND SCREWED! BRING ME THAT BASTARD GUNNER! MAKE HIM BLEED! MAKE HIM CRY! JUST MAKE SURE HE IS ALIVE.. MOSTLY.”
Gunner, his manner laconic, relaxed even, just twirled a little gadget, looked like a watch. He replied, “Sure thing boss! My pleasure. I can’t wait to play with that bitch some more. Let me get some grub, then I’ll get right on it.”
Kingpin stopped, surprised, “WHAT?? Now? How are you gonna find him? No one knows where his secret base is at.”
Gunner stopped spinning the little watch, and placed it around his wrist. “Sorry to disagree with you boss, but I know where it is. See here?” He tapped the watch. “He’s at the corner of 42nd avenue and 3rd street, about 10 meters underground.”
Kingpin looked awed… “How??”
Gunner grinned, “Well, you see boss, I like to anticipate you. I figured you’d want me to punish Captain Canuck for breaking your statute, so I , what’s that fancy word called? Oh yeah… I demonstrated situational initiative. I bugged the bastard with one of my little tracker toys.”
Kingpin still looked confused, “But… that’s not possible. His base uses Avenger tech.. The tech would instantly detect any trackers on his body.”
Gunner laughed, “Well, that’s the key word, isn’t it boss? ‘On’. It’s not ‘on’ his body. It’s ‘IN’ his body. I shoved my little toy right up that fucker’s ass after I knocked him out cold. It gripped tight against the inside of his ass. He’s got a sweet ass, did you know that? I’m gonna love raping that bastard six ways to Sunday and destroying his hole after I get my hands on him. Oh, but back to the point, my little toy, once it sinks into a body, can mask itself to simply look like a natural part of the organism it attaches to.”
Kingpin stood up, and in a rare gesture, shook Gunner’s hand, “My boy… I take my hat off to you. Let me not keep you from your hot date!”
Laughing, Gunner turned and left, looking forward to tonight with immense pleasure.
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