Let us begin:
There sometimes comes a moment you realize too late you’ve actually fucked yourself. You start out thinking one way and end up another. In my case it was researching inspiration for a new cyber story. I ended up banging my own brain into submission.
One day, while surfing the web, I came across an interesting site. The site was a place where some gay guys paid money for other guys to treat them like shit. These guys would totally lose self-control and let their balls and not their brains determine their actions. It had a variety of names, like pay pigs or fin-dom but the one that was mostly employed was cash fagging.
I figured this area would make a hot, new cyber story so I checked out more of the sites that catered to these alpha dominant guys and their beta cash fags. I’d read master’s profiles, their blogs and take notes. Sure some of these alpha guys were just looking to score cash on some weak-willed submissive but others had a certain erotic flair to their stories of conquest. I’ll admit it was arousing to read some of the abuse the cash masters would write on their sites. Hell I even jerked off over more than a few of them.
After awhile, however, I wanted more than merely reading about this scene from the master’s side. I began seeking out posts by submissive guys so I could truly “get into” their frame of mind. I’d read their confessions {mostly posted on their master’s blogs} about losing control to a more dominant man and the intensity of their erotic thrill during it. Seeking even more, I joined the chat rooms on these master’s cyber sites. I’d listen to the subs going on about their sexual experiences. At times a few were actually abused and cash fagged in those very chat rooms. Observing the “cash faggings” in those rooms were so hot you could not help but sport a boner. Quickly I found myself jacking off during each one. I was appalled by their abject, self-imposed degradations yet completely stimulated by it too. Then one day one sub in a chat room mentioned a cash master whose online reputation was rock solid. A guy named Master X. Cyber surfing by me brought up his tumblr and video pages. Young, blond and leanly muscled, his sites truly did display an attitude. After checking the video previews on one of his sites I knew he was the real deal.
Those brief video snips showed that he really enjoyed displaying his dominant nature. He was cocky and totally assured of his superiority. He always looked directly at his camera with eyes that told you that he knew exactly the effect he was having upon the viewer. His sneering, assertive smile always seemed to make him sexier.
His statement that…
I’m going to drill into your brain
Slowly and deeply fuck you up
Because we both know
You secretly want it
Wasn’t spoken in a way that seemed like an idle boast but rather just a simple declaration of fact. But it was not only his words alone that were compelling. He had a skill of addressing you that was calm and measured. He never raised his voice to yell and spoke to you without rushing his words. As he erotic flexed his leanly defined body, he would coolly remind his viewer that ...
Time to worship excellence huh
You’re hard huh bitch
Seeing a true alpha man before you
Go on and worship me
Give in bitch
His dramatic pauses throughout his comments only, in my mind, intensified their power upon you. I can still recall one video where he confidentially told the viewer he knew they would surrender to him. His slow, self-assured, & composed delivery of how…
“I’m going to own you … abuse you … and fucking use you …and you’ll love it!!”
Well, it was words like that, which gave every video an erotic punch to the gut. His way of fixing his sights upon you during each of them implicitly stated that we both shared the knowledge about who was in control. Frankly, he was amazingly adept in mocking his viewer while also bringing to each video a sense of erotic intimacy.
Pretty soon I found myself regularly watching his video previews and imagining that yes, he was talking only to me. Telling me about how he knew how much I wanted to be his bitch. Even his threats of an implied blackmail in one did not decrease his sensual appeal. I’d furiously jerk off listening to him saying,
You are a perverted little pussy-boy aren’t you, huh
Now what would your friends think huh
We wouldn’t want everyone finding out about you, right
Or would we bitch boy
I bet you want to confess things to me don’t you
Let out all your dirty secrets and desires
I bet your jerking off right now thinking about it
I’ll enjoy hearing you confess
You got a hard-on there too huh boy
Thinking about spilling all that information about yourself
We both know you will tell me
You are so hot thinking about it too
And I will use it bitch-boy
Damn you are still hard there huh
Go on…tell me
All during that preview Id image such a possibility. My throat would be dry, I’d cringe in fear and yet, I’d always be fully erect. I visualized myself confessing all my embarrassing secrets and background facts to him while he erotic flexed before my hungry gaze. I’d mentally surrender to his mocking threats, fixate on his smiling image & beg for his mercy until I masturbated to an orgasm that left me mentally shattered. I liked getting into that mindset and jerking-off to the sound of his voice laughing at my cravings for his abuse. Honestly, it made my sexual releases even hotter listening to his coolly delivered assurances of how we both knew that I was his bitch-boy.
Over time I realized I looked forward to sitting before my computer, hitting up a series of his short video previews and getting off with him. At times I’d sip a drink, get a light buzz, let my eyes take in his image, and have his seductive voice swirling inside my brain. As he spoke, I’d edge myself; his sneering, handsome face gazing at me while continually reminding me …
I know what you are …a weak little bitch-boy craving a strong hand.
I now understand that, without fully realizing it, I was mentally bending over for him. Getting my brain ready for him to butt-fuck it. I had been fooling myself into believing I was getting off while simply pretending to be his bitched-boy. I was still thinking I was, as usual in my life, the guy who was always in control. I justified my sexual acting out with him as simply getting inspiration for a future cyber story or having harmless porno film-viewing jerks offs. For a long time I denied how I was hooked on engaging in these mental submissions to him. How viewing his video previews and hearing his words made my orgasms even more satisfying. Even though I had not intended to buy any of them, the words of one in particular would always pop into my head…
Now you know who you belong to don’t you
Stop fighting it
You know you want to buy my first video
Stop denying yourself bitch- boy
We both know you will buy it
I bet your cock is so hard now huh
So hard thinking about buying it
SO DO IT!
After awhile I found that I did really desire to buy one. Those short video previews were soon not enough! I again lied to myself by still thinking I was only be doing all these things to be inspired for my future story.
So, one day I took the plunge and emailed him. I told myself it was no biggie, just a reach out to inquire about buying a video. I was telling myself I would not buy a video. I would not even admit that I simply wanted to connect to him. Again thinking I was doing this for great story. He replied and we did a brief email back and forth about the purchases. His emails were as cocky as his videos. His superior attitude in his replies threw me off balance. I am pretty well respected in my life and in my email exchanges with others too. With him it was clear he did not see me as his equal. To my embarrassment, I felt even more drawn into him. Pretty quickly I began deciding which of his videos to buy. Yes, by then I realized I had gone from not even contemplating that subject to now giving it serious consideration. Still, I was a bit freaky about staying anonymous in any sale. When I told him I couldn’t pay him in the way he ordered, I unintentionally ended up insulting him. Our connection broke off. I figured that was it.
Well long story short, after a few more days I wrote back to abjectly apologize for acting like a pussy. I had been pretty horny too for days before I wrote that email to him. I’d known my apology would, in a sense, be basically acknowledging his superiority and yet, I was totally aroused contemplating that fact. I was rock hard while writing that email to him; even experiencing an erotic thrill while composing it. After I sent it, I pictured his laughing when he received it & I masturbated to an amazing orgasm.
But more was to come. I had previously always told myself that any payment to him, even it was just for a video, would, on some level, make me a cash fag. Besides, I had clearly rejected sending a payment in the manner he’d instructed me too. I swore I wouldn’t do it even though I’d apologized to him. I assured myself that I was not some weak-willed beta to his dominant alpha right up to the moment I broke down and sent money to him for a video. In the end I knew I had to do it. I’d was jonesing so bad over him I couldn’t get through my days without taking time to beat my meat while fantasizing about being his bitch-boy. I needed to buy one just to secure calmness inside my brain so I could again function in my life. Like he said in one preview:
It feels good to submit huh boy
Feels so hot to serve me huh bitch
Your puny cock must be throbbing
Go on bitch
Don’t fight your need
Fucking buy my video
When I did send the funds I even sent more money than what was required to buy one so he’d do a customized video for me. So yes, I cash fagged and, yeah, I fucking jerked off while sending him his money. Afterwards I knew he'd be both amused that I had, despite my insisting otherwise, done exactly what he told me to do. Knowing it pleased and aroused me too. Pathetic huh.
Now you know who fucking owns you
What a good little fucking pussy
Who’s my happy little bitch-boy now
He’d won & he had broken me. His confidently delivered words now echoed inside my brain:
“I’m going to own you … abuse you … and fucking use you …and you’ll love it!!”
Master X easily fucked into my head. Somehow he slowly got me mentally adjusted to get off big time while being dominated by him. He is a cash master whose looks, attitude and smarts turned me out & opened up my previously unknown inner cash fagging disposition. Will he read this story? Will he seek me out? His words echo….
This is your Master here huh
You’re my little fucking cash pig right
That’s why the fuck you are watching my video huh
So I can manipulate that weak brain of yours
Then get whatever the fuck I need from you huh
Yes Sir. I’m your pathetic little bitch-boy. Watching you in one dressed in black leathers. Reminding me …
Who’s my little bitch-boy
This leather god is turning you on, huh
It’s fine bitch-boy
Go on now
Worship your new leather god
I see you
Jerking off watching me in my leathers
You pathetic bitch-boy
I’ll soon buy the privilege of his Skype address. I can visualize our future Skype sessions. In them, as he observes me, I’m furiously jerking off while he’s mocking me for my weakness and perversion. He is laughing as his self-assured words pump into my head and drain my wallet; controlling me with his confident power. I’m squirting my cash to him via his pay site while I edge ever closer to an orgasm.
Then get whatever the fuck I need from you huh
Fuck yes Sir,
I'm so boned now.
Hitting up his pay site right now
Use me, Sir.
Cash milk me, Sir …
Submit
Serve
Like a good bitch-boy
Own me, Sir.
Drain me
Oh fuck
You’re banging my brain so good.
Pumping faster …
Now you know who fucking owns you
What a good little fucking pussy
Who’s my happy little bitch-boy now
Yes, Master…
This is your Master here huh
You’re my little fucking cash pig right
Yes Master.
$$ was sent Master.
Please let me Skype with you, Sir
I hear you …
“I control you … use you … and you fucking love it you pathetic cunt!”
Hitting the pay site’s repeat gift tab again, Sir. More money sent. My cock is … throbbing … oh fuck … I'm sending more $$ …Sir … my cock's leaking ...hitting it again … shit my cock is losing it ... ...fuck ... sending $$ again… Sir … I’m going to cum …I’m … I’m…. AAAAWWWWFFFUUUUCCC!
Postscript: I’d love to get feedback. It can be frustrating writing stories and never hearing back from readers either for good or ill. So send me feedback. haha
Are you tempted to go find Master X now? Are you too afraid of what you will discover about yourself if you do? If you want to take a chance and connect to him then write to me. Tell me why you want too and about what you’ve now discovered about yourself. J.
Lastly, is this tale either pure fact or pure fiction or a mixture of both? Do you care? Dying to ask me huh?