But he just ignores me finger. He jerks me legs forward, pushes me back, and the next thing I know is that Smiffy is sitting on me chest flipping off me trainers.

I try to shout at 'im - "Oy, them trainers cost me a bundle. And get yourself off me - right now!"

Except of course it all comes out as "Mmmpphh, mmmphhh, mphhh, mmmmphhh" 'cos I got 'is big beefy arse in me face.